The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Time at Ikea

October 26, 2007 at 6:07 pm | Posted in Dating, Humor, Relationships | Leave a comment

Bill and I are approaching our 6 month anniversary. So, I’ve been doing alot of reminiscing about our relationship; how we met, our first date, the fun activities we did together in the summer from going to Top of the Rock to seeing the Mets to swing dancing at Lincoln Center, all the movies we’ve seen, dinners out, coffee runs at Starbucks, and I have a big, goofy grin on my face while I’m typing this.

I think anyone can agree that relationships do not grow simply through good times like the ones I mentioned above. There needs to be some struggle, you have to see your significant other when he/she is cranky, sad, angry or all of the above. What is most important is how your SO handles these feelings and whether they take any of their frustrations out on you or on other people. These episodes can determine how the relationship or even if the relationship continues.

We are going back to the summer of 2007, picture a Sunday morning, kind of cloudy outside, and Bill wanted to get out of the city for the day. We planned to visit friends in Teaneck, go to Ikea to do some shopping for Bill’s place, and return to the city in time to go to my brother, Dr. O’s birthday party.

We have a nice lunch at the Pasta Factory, see some of Bill’s friends, then we’re off to Ikea and that’s where the ‘fun’ begins. Ikea is one of the most overwhelming stores in the world, talk about sensory overload! The store is an obstacle course of left over shopping carts, people gazing off into space in the middle of the aisle, crying kids, harried salespeople, and, I almost forgot, furniture!

Bill did his homework beforehand; he knew what pieces of furniture he needed and the dimensions for those needed pieces of furniture. We get to the sections with bureaus and armoires, and we spend a good amount of time in a debate of “Oak vs. Birch”. Throughout this process, he thanked me for coming with him. We got on line to give the salesperson the information needed to purchase the armoire.

Standing in a long line is bound to test anyone’s patience. Imagine getting to the salesperson and giving your order only to find out that the store doesn’t have the necessary hinges for your furniture and that you will have to go back to the store and order them. That did not make Bill very happy and he asked to talk to a manager. I am trying to keep the pencils away from Bill in case he gets tempted to stab the salesperson, not like he could have done much damage anyway. The pencils were not even sharpened, I guess management is very smart. After talking to the manager, Bill decides to order the armoire anyway and he will get the hinges at a later date.

We end up on the first floor where Bill has to pick up another piece of furniture (I think it was a bookcase), and we go to the back of the area where there is a bunch of furniture on clearance. Bill goes in the room and I lean back against the wall, ready to collapse right there. I must have had quite the look on my face because Bill looks at me, walks up and says something like “You look really pissed off, why don’t you sit down and rest”. Then, he thanked me again for accompanying him to Ikea.

The checkout process is the biggest pain of all. The lines are very disorganized and I had to discourage Bill from buying everything in ‘the cheapie racks’ (the racks of cheap stuff conveniently placed near the checkout lines, I’ve also seen it in Old Navy, Victoria’s Secret, the Gap, etc. It is meant to make you spend more $$, I’ve fallen prey to that strategy too many times to admit). Then, after we check out, we have to go to the delivery desk (?) where you have to tell them when and where you want your furniture delivered. They don’t deliver your furniture at night so that causes problems for those of us who work during the day and there are no Sunday deliveries so if you’re Sabbath observant you have no choice but to schedule it at a time that is inconvenient for you.

Eventually we get out of the store and even get back to the city in time to make an appearance at Dr. O’s birthday party. It was Bill’s first time meeting Dr. O and his wife, Dr. N, and it went very well.

Moral of the story: If you want to see how well your relationship is going, go spend an afternoon in Ikea. If you still like your SO after the trip is over, then your relationship is in good shape.


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