Gee, Nice to See You Again

October 29, 2007 at 3:35 pm | Posted in Dating, Relationships | Leave a comment

This month, I had the experience of running into someone I used to go out with earlier this year. For the purposes of this story, I will call this gentleman Geographically Undesirable Man (G.U.M.). G.U.M. and I met at a shabbat dinner at a mutual friend’s and we saw each other for the few weeks he was in town. When he got back home, we kept in touch over the phone but it became clear that things were not going to work out. He said that he did not want to move back to the New York City area and I said that I have no intention of moving out of the New York area. We mutually agreed to end contact. A few weeks after that conversation, I went out on my first date with Bill.

Fast forward about 5 months after that first date and Bill and I go to a dinner on the upper west side during the Simchat Torah holidays. To my surprise, I see GUM walk into the room where I was sitting with Bill. We say hello, and I introduce him to Bill. There was some inner gloating going on, and I think it might have shown on my face. Anyone who knows me can agree that I have no poker face; if I am happy, sad, or just plain pissed off, you see it on my face. I would not make a good poker player.

After a few minutes of gloating (okay, maybe it lasted longer than that), a sense of gratitude washed over me. Sometimes what seems like a big disappointment can lead you to a wonderful opportunity. I feel blessed to be in a relationship with someone who just gets me and vice versa, I can truly be myself around him, can be happy, cranky and everything in between and it’s okay.

I wish for all my single friends to meet someone special who just gets them and vice versa and I’m happy for all my friends who are in good relationships. You can also have this same feeling for people that you used to go out with (of course, provided that things ended in a healthy way; if not, the road to that feeling is undeniably more challenging), I found myself thinking at that dinner “I hope GUM finds a nice woman who understands him”, it would have been nicer if I could have skipped the whole inner gloating thing to begin with.

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