What a Bummer!

February 27, 2008 at 8:25 pm | Posted in Judaism | Leave a comment

Due to my increased observance of Judaism, I observe holidays that I didn’t observe as a child. Now, I love Sukkos, Simchas Torah and Shavuos (yea for cheesecake!!) but there are some holidays that are not as much fun, specifically the few weeks leading up to those holidays. Let me give you an example

I found out last week that The Police will go on tour again this summer and they are performing in this area during the first week of August. Shay and I were about to get tickets, we ask Bill if he wants to go and he reminds us that it is during the nine days.  I guess I will have to make do with seeing The Police live once.

Burping Bertha

February 22, 2008 at 2:27 pm | Posted in Random Stuff | Leave a comment

Burping Bertha is one of Bill’s nicknames for me and it came about thanks to the infamous soda machine talked about in my last post. Seltzer really does bring out the burps, I must have burped a few times in a row, hence the name “Burping Bertha”.

The Soda Club Machine

February 21, 2008 at 2:46 pm | Posted in Random Stuff | 1 Comment
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Bill is currently in the middle of a DIY (Do It Yourself) phase, he recently got himself a seltzer machine from Soda Club. He also got an assortment of nifty syrups so we can have anything from coke to lemon lime to orange seltzer. You fill up the Soda Club bottle with water up to the top line, then you put it in the machine and you press the top button several times to carbonate the water.

I giggled uncontrollably when I pressed the button. The carbonation sounded like someone was letting out a big, juicy fart. I am even laughing now as I type this. This machine provide you with minutes of endless amusement as well as a very tasty bottle of seltzer.

Project Runway Season 4 Episode 9: Is There Really a Spandex House?!?

February 14, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Posted in TV shows, Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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To all those who say you can’t learn interesting things when watching reality TV shows, you obviously have not watched this season of Project Runway. We learned all about spit marks, MRSA infections, and avant-garde designs. I learned from this episode that there is an actual place called Spandex House.

In the obligatory apartment footage, Ricky tells us that he is feeling more confident in his work even though he feels he’s still not getting any respect from his fellow designers after his challenge wins. Heidi tells the designers to meet up with Tim for a field trip. I bet the designers never want to hear those words again after this show. Tim does take them on a field trip, down the elevator to the basement.

They hear weird noises emanating from behind the closed doors, Christian says that it sounds like sex moans, and the rest of the designers have worried looks on their faces. Tim opens the doors and we find the WWE divas wrestling each other in itty bitty costumes. Tim tells the designers that they have to make an outfit for their divas that tells a story. The designers choose their divas and the pairs are: Chris/Maria, Christian/Crystal, Ricky/Layla, Rami/Tori, Jillian/Michelle, and Sweet P/Candice.

Each pair consults for 30 minutes, Chris and Maria bond over their love of leopard, they are a match made in heaven. Christian learns that Crystal loves leather and lace, and I don’t think she means the Stevie Nicks/Don Henley song. Candice tells Sweet P that she is all about the robe and reveal. Sweet P says that Candice’s outfit scares her, sweetie your tattoos scare the crap out of me yet I still watch you every week. The other pairs look like they’re getting along just fine.

Tim takes the designers to Spandex House, Chris seems to be a regular customer at SH as he asks if they still have the green leopard print. The designers see their divas later in the day, Ricky is making his diva a bathing suit, Um, okay….Rami is following his fashion philosophy: when in doubt, drape. Too bad that doesn’t work with spandex. Candice tells Sweet P she wants a whole lot of bling on her outfit, enough to give Dolly Parton a run for her money. Christian thinks that Crystal is one of the fiercest people he ever met, he has really come to enjoy this challenge.

The designers of Heatherette are the guest judges; Christian, Chris, and Jillian are the judges favorites and Ricky returns to his designated spot as his outfit was judged least favorably along with Rami and Sweet P. Chris wins the challenge and he remarks that of course he wins the tackiest challenge ever. Ricky is aufed, this was long overdue, I may add. He outlasted a whole bunch of better designers.

Boring but True

February 14, 2008 at 3:44 pm | Posted in Random Stuff | Leave a comment

1. You oversleep 3 out of the past 4 mornings.

2. You leave your cell phone at home this morning.

3. You’re tempted to disconnect your work phone.

4. You can’t find a simple laundry card in your small apartment, really need to find a better place for it.

Project Runway Season 4 Episode 8: 2 Out of 3 Ain’t Bad

February 7, 2008 at 3:49 pm | Posted in TV shows | Leave a comment
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This episode starts off with the apartment montages; Ricky voices that it’s tough to motivate yourself for each challenges when the judges tell you that you suck everytime. Well, maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that…

Heidi tells the designers that they are going for a field trip and they will have to meet Tim to find out where they’re going. Why can’t they just skip that part of the show? All Heidi does is just walk down the runway, tell the contestants that they will have to meet Tim for a trip, and then just smiles and walks away.

The designers find themselves in Brooklyn in front of some warehouse. The door is opened and they find a whole bunch of denim strewn around the space. They have a few minutes to grab all the denim they can and to make an outfit for Levis 501 Jeans. I think the part where they have to run and grab stuff is a bit unfair to Chris. Maybe the powers that be don’t like him very much….At least he doesn’t lose a show, like Sweet P did. She was wearing flip-flops which is a wonderful thing to wear when you’re running on a dirty floor.

Tensions are high in the workroom, Christian is in a major pissy mood and Chris remarks on how cute youth is and also comments that Christian should be given a bottle and put to bed. Sweet P is inspired to make a wedding dress out of denim, Tim is like “You can do that, just be prepared to go home after that”. Ricky’s trying to convince himself that he is fierce and that he can design denim like no one else can. Victorya and Jillian are both making denim jackets, seems like the avant-garde challenge took alot out of them.

The runway show starts and the results are a little topsy turvy. Ricky and Sweet P are the favorites of the judges and Victorya and Jillian are in the bottom. Rami and Christian get praise for their outfits and Chris is in the bottom as well. Ricky gets all verklempt on the runway and I guess the judges must like that sort of behavior because Ricky ends up winning the challenge. No, I did not like that at all. Sweet P was gypped out of a win again (she should have won the prom challenge). Victorya is aufed; as crappy as Jillian’s jacket was, at least she had some kind of concept. Victorya checked out of the competition as shown by her crap-tacular jacket.

I predicted in my first recap that Rami, Christian, and Victorya were going to be in the final 3. At least Rami and Christian look like they are still on track for Bryant Park. Sweet P and Ricky are in the bottom tier of the designers, then you have Chris and Jillian. Jillian can do no wrong, and the judges are hot and cold on Chris. One week they love him and the next they don’t. It’ll be interesting to see if Jillian can rebound from her appearance in the bottom.

Project Runway Season 4 Episode 7: The Adventures of Captain Douchebag

February 7, 2008 at 3:23 pm | Posted in TV shows | Leave a comment
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In this episode, the designers have to create an avant-garde look inspired by their model’s hairstyle. Some of the hairstyles are just awful (remember crimped hair). The designers are paired up randomly, the super duo of Rami and Jillian are no more. Rami is paired with Sweet P and Jillian is paired with Victorya. The remaining teams are Kit and Ricky and Chris and Christian. If a name is in bold, it means they are the captain of their teams.

Chris and Christian really seem to know what they’re doing. Kit voices that she is not really sure what avant-garde is. Rami is bossing Sweet P around. Victorya and Jillian are just doing their own thing.

Halfway through the challenge, Tim tells the designers that they have to make a ready to wear outfit in addition to the avant garde outfit. We get to see a bunch of “oh s-it” looks from the designers. Rami starts freaking out on Sweet P even more, he does not let her work on the avant garde dress, he assigns her to make a pair of pants with the a-g outfit and to work on the ready-to-wear outfit. Sweet P starts crying in the workroom and is comforted by Lea, one of the models.

We get to the runway show, Alberta Feretti is the guest judge. The top 2 teams are Chris/Christian and Victorya/Jillian. The bottom 2 teams are Rami/Sweet P and Kit/Ricky. Christian wins the challenge and Kit gets aufed. Now you know what I meant when I wrote in my prior post that I have lost motivation to recap. Kit was kind of screwed, first time in the bottom and she gets auf’ed. Rami was saved by Sweet P’s ready to wear dress, hopefully he went to the nearest bakery after the challenge and got himself some humble pie.

The Deadest Months

February 1, 2008 at 8:46 pm | Posted in Random Stuff | 1 Comment

I remember reading recently that more people are vulnerable to depression in the winter months. You are faced with shorter and colder days, unless you live in Florida, California, and Hawaii or south of the equator and you don’t have to deal with cold weather. I am definitely not depressed but I am definitely more lazy, as shown by my lack of posts in the last month.

I have not been inspired to write, who wants to hear about my shopping spree at Target, or the latest antics of Big Peanut? How about my stressed Friday afternoons at work getting everything done before I leave for Shabbas? Yea, didn’t think so…

What I have been doing is watching more TV; when I was sick in December with the 24 hour bug, I watched a whole bunch of crappy TV. I started watching the latest offerings of the Oxygen network, particularly The Bad Girls Club and the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. When America’s Next Top Model comes back on the air this month, there will be 3 shows about modeling on TV, about 3 shows too many in my opinion. Janice Dickinson is a beautiful woman, why she gets so much plastic surgery is beyond me. She has said bluntly that she was addicted to alcohol, somehow I think she replaced alcohol with plastic surgery as her drug of choice. If you were to look at pictures of her from her heyday as a supermodel compared to how she looks now, it is a very sad comparison. She would look so much better if she ages gracefully.

As for The Bad Girls Club, that whole show is a joke. I did like hearing Tanisha saying “Pop off” repeatedly and I look forward to using that phrase the next time someone says or does something to annoy me. Seriously, there was a point of time in my life that I went out to bars and clubs every weekend and may have acted really silly and watching The Bad Girls Club only reinforces my decision to never apply for a reality TV show (well except for Amazing Race, maybe American Gladiators). I would have been so mortified if my most embarassing idiotic moments were shown on TV for the world to see.

I’ve been getting a kick out of American Gladiators; I never thought there could be such a thing as male cleavage until I saw Titan in his uniform. For all those interested, open call tryouts in New York are on February 9. The whole tryouts on Shabbat thing is a bummer, also the fact that all of the female Gladiators could wipe the floor with me right now.

Even though I watch Project Runway regularly, I have not been motivated to recap regularly. What’s there to say: “Today another one of my favorites was aufed unfairly”. How many different ways can you say “The judges are complete and utter idiots”.

I watched “Crowned” on the WB, very amusing series. What was the most amusing was seeing Jack Wagner host the finals this week. He looks very well-preserved, what would have been awesome was if he sang “All I Need”, I haven’t heard that song in ages.

Because I’ve been watching too much TV, I made the 101/1001 list. It’s a whole lot better than New Years resolutions, you have more time to complete things and if you set a good number of short term tasks, you get a nice feeling of accomplishment that spurs you forward to do the long term stuff.

On that note, it’s time to start the weekly rush to get home before shabbas. Wish me luck in the pouring rain.

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